She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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