I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize