what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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