Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
