i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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