you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
