I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
