well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize