gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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