How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
