I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
