420 ftw
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
