Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
