i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
