We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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