If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
