You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
