well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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