small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
