I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize