go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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