Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
