he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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