I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
