Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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