hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
