dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
