Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
