THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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