Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
