Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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