your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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