...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
