Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
