tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
