They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
a search helicopter?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
