Porn is love you can see.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
