I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
