You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize