Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
