No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
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