he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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