5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
