My balls are so social today.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
