i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
