You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
