scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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