I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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