with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
