I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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