Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
