do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
