I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Terrible idea I love it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
