So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Operation Purity has been aborted
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Go christen that room with your naked body.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
