Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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