so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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