wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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