no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
