The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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