singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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