I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
