You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
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Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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