About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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